My name is Ryan and I have British parents.
So I’m pretty much stuck in this really sour mood
It went away for the long weekend but now it’s back
And the weird thing is that I can’t help talking and laughing with people anyway, even though I’m really not in the mood
I have no idea why, but like on my way to Academic Team after school I suddenly got this really weird feeling. It was almost like a crushing wave of depression, but it wasn’t depression. It was “doneness” I guess. I like people and I usually have a pretty good time at school, but I just got this feeling that I don’t want to go to school anymore and I don’t want to see/talk to people anymore. And Academic Team just seemed like an annoyance after that.
I don’t know where this feeling came from but it’s really not like me. So it’s weird, I really don’t know.
The thing is that people at school think I’m a really happy funny music-loving goody-two-shoes type
When actually I’m just lonely and sad
I’m pissed off and I really don’t know why.
No actually I do know why. Because people just think they can blow me off and think I won’t notice. Okay, if I invite you to an “End of Summer” party on facebook you could at least just say “no” instead of ignoring it instead of pretending you haven’t seen it okay I KNOW you’ve fucking seen it okay and if I’ve texted you I KNOW you’ve fucking seen it I mean how dumb do you think I am
Also I’m just really confused because I went to a party last night with people who I loved being around just at the end of last school year and I realized that I barely have anything in common with them anymore and some of them actually actively annoy me now like how did that much change in ONE FUCKING SUMMER
I’m sorry to bug you all with my personal rants and complaints but honestly my frustration needs to go somewhere